"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Haruka - Pierrot
Feeling... calm
Thursday, January 17, 2002
Between all the emotional turmoil (damn period) and hw, I didn't mention coming back to school. I mean, the first day, that is. I'd gotten my hair trimmed on the Saturday before, and I really like the new style, btw (Ka-chan you should see it! It's so like jpop singer hair style!). So! I walk (or rather, wobble) into Orchestra room, and there were some early people about. The first person I see is Charlott, who glances at me, looks away, and then stares back at me again with shock (oh, the expression on her face!). She said something like "Whoa, your hair!" That was one of the two strongest reactions I got that day. The other was when I was standing at the door to the room where my chamber music group was going to practice, and I was about to walk out. Just then, Elliot came around the corner, obviously not even half awake, and he sorta glance my way, kept walking, and suddenly screeches to a halt, and his head swiveled back to me so fast I thought it was going to unscrew itself and fall off (ok, i know that was a sick joke...). His eyes nearly bugged out (reminds of the time he first saw me in a skirt at school... -_-;). It was hilarious! Speaking of hilarious, we were doing our presentations in AP Gov. today, and for some reason, all the members of one group kept on staring at Phyllis (or in her direction) as they talked... Phyllis was so creeped out by it the entire time, because it didn't seem like the presenters knew what they were doing.
Okay, I'm truly babbling now...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 12:35 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: For You - Staind
Feeling... mortified
Thursday, January 17, 2002
KUYASHII~~~!!! >.< I feel so embarrassed right now... Eugene read my ranting/violent/cussing blog entry from ealier! Halfway through a AIM convo I realized he was making reference my "karma"... *buries face in hands*... Agh... I didn't even know he read my blog... *grins* At least I know who he likes now! Well, not that I didn't guess before, but having my guess confirmed is the ultimate payback. Oh imagine the blackmail possibilities... lol j/k Wu. If you'd just told me sooner, I wouldn't have had to go through this much trouble.
Maybe I should delete that entry?
Keiko babbled deliriously at 12:26 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Asrun Dream - Gackt
Feeling... pissed
Wednesday, January 16, 2002
I'm so fucking bored!!!! No emails to check, no one to chat with! Ka-chan's comp's broke, so forget emails there, no one's emailed back yet, so I have to wait, and no one's on AIM except HENRY! And I don't wanna talk to him! Stupid laconic jerk! I should be doing the final review for Math Analysis, but I'm so pissed off at math right now that I don't wanna finish it. Fucking graphing and polynomials! I should also finish my bio project, but that can wait. Idiotic cat distracting me at every turn! Argh! Isn't there anything to do online anymore?! Even my archive of mp3s are getting exhausting! I need Shazna and Pierrot music! I need new singles to obsess over! I need something to get me out of this fucking cheerful mood I've been in for the last week!!!!!!! (NO! Cannot think about Fushigi Yuugi! That's TOO depressing!) Don't wanna play concert tomorrow! Might faint during it! No one believes that I'm still sick because I don't have anything growing all over my skin! Just cos a disease doesn't show doesn't mean it's not there!!!! Stupid Gene and Jonah not believing I'm sick! I didn't want our group to have to turn out this way!!! Stupid teachers for giving me so much homework (who the hell can finish Uncle Tom's Cabin in a week?!!) Stupid semester finals that I have to study my butt off for! Stupid shingles and viral meningitis for costing me my much-needed vacation! Stupid weak immune system that won't protect me from every disease that comes my way!!!! *vein in head pops*
Well, I have to admit, a lot of good things have been happening lately. My chamber group is the last on the program, which usually means we're the best. ^_^ I've gotten A's on test, and been catching up on a LOT of hw. I don't like being this cheerful though. *growls* All this good luck usually means something really extremly bad is going to happen soon. My karma's way too balanced for it not to.
Disregard everything I screamed and ranted about in the first paragraph. I'm just in too bad a mood. I'll probably regret it later... Must be the damn PERIOD! *mutters* fucking cramps...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 05:57 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: For You - Staind
Feeling... amused
Monday, January 14, 2002
*comments* Things like these are absolutely delightful...
 I am a Scorched Earth Tank.
When I have a mission, it consumes me; I will not be satisfied until the job is done. I have a strong sense of duty, and a strong sense of direction. Changes in the tide don't phase me - I always know which way the wind blows, and I know how to compensate for it. I get on poorly with people like myself. What Video Game Character Are You?
|
So anyway... Ka-chan's a Breakout Bat, whatever that is...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 10:38 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: For You - Staind
Feeling... energetic and delighted
Monday, January 14, 2002
I broke into my own house today! Quite an accomplishment, I'd say, for something as amateur as I. I had to do so because I forgot my keys. I climbed in through a narrow window at the back of the house. First, what happened was that I was walking home, and I suddenly got the strangest feeling, a kind of fear and insecurity that usually means that I forgot something. So, fearing the worst (at that moment), I dug into my backpack, and lo and behold! My keys weren't there! I started panicking, because I'd been wearing boots all morning and had been eager to get home to rest. Not to mention I had a book I wanted to read. So anyways, I went over to my neighbor Sherry's house, because she keeps our extra key, but she wasn't there, so I walked over to her office, which was about 2 blocks from my house, but she wasn't there either. Feeling really heavy, I walked back, reflecting that I really should learn how to pick a lock sometime soon. I went back to see if Sherry was home yet, but she wasn't, so I cursed my ill luck and decided to see if I could climb into the house through my bedroom window like I did last time... Yes, there was a last time. I forget my keys way too often, though I don't have the luxury of staying at a friend's house like Maryam does whenever she forgot her keys *scowls at said person* Well anyway, I noted that my mom's bedroom window was open, and I could probably get the screen off easily, but the window was too high for me to climb and too much in the view of the neighborhood (a police car could have gone by and seen me attempting to break in...). So I went farther around back, to see if I could crank my window open, since I'd closed it. It came as a surprise when I couldn't budge the screen from the window. It'd always came off easily enough, but no matter how hard I'd tried, it was impossible to shift the screen (not that I could've open the window afterwards anyway, closed from the inside as it was...). Then I tried the window in the very back of the house, which was right next to the sink in the bathroom. After much banging on the screen (and much meowed encouragment from my cat within, as eager to get out as I was to get in), I managed to slide the screen out. Opening the window was easy enough since it was already slided open a crack. I let my cat out, feeling she deserved a little freedom, and tried to gauge if I could climb in. The sill of the window is as high as my chest, and there were no footholds in the wall... Fortunately, there are some disused lawn chairs in the backyard, so I dragged one right next to the window, and threw my backpack in. The window is about a foot wide, and perhaps 2-3 feet tall. I didn't trust myself to be able to clamber into the house without something higher to stand on, so I had to pile a great log of wood (from the backyard) onto the (wobbly) chair, and stand on that. I climbed in sideways, putting my foot on the sink, and very nervous that I'd fall, since I was wearing boots. But I got in without falling. Once inside, I opened the back door to lure my cat back in, and fortunately, she was happy to oblige. The whole experience was utterly thrilling and it really felt like breaking into a house, instead of just finding a way to get back into your own home. I couldn't stop congratulating myself for a long while. I suppose the whole thing wasn't really all that complicated and isn't much to brag about, but there was a sense of real achievement in all of the hard work. *strikes dramatic pose* Alas! It is the beginning of my thieving/burglaring career! Next time: learn how to pick a lock... ^^; No kidding, I've been meaning to learn how to do that for quite a while. Just never got around to it. You never know when that kind of stuff'll come in handy. ^_~
Keiko babbled deliriously at 09:42 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: {none}
Feeling... {none}
Saturday, January 12, 2002
*swallows* I took a "Fushigi Yuugi, Weib Kruez, Card Captor Sakura" match test... and here are the results... My number one match is Yukito (*looks puzzled and bewildered and running away from Touya at the same time*). My number two match is Nakago (*backs away from both Tomo and Soi and Nakago*). *swallows again* This isn't going well... My number 3 match is Ken (*looks relieved* Finally, a normal one... *gulps and runs from Aya w/ a katana*). Next is Crawford... (*falls over in shock*). Then Farfarello... (*buries face in hand* I'm so dead! He's gonna kill me for the hate of God!!) Then Omi... (*looks a bit green* don't kill me, Kauru...), then Tamahome (*runs from a food-chomping Miaka), then Amiboshi (*relaxes a bit* well, I like Ami-chan well enough), then Chichiri (Wai~~ Chiri-chan!!), then Syaoran (XD XD XD~~!!!), then Nagi (eh...), then Suboshi (oh, the other -boshi twin... he's gonna kill me with those damn yo-yos, I just know it...), then Touya (I'm never gonna get past Yukito OR Yue... not that I'd want to...), Aya (my first Weib match anyway, from the last Weib quiz I took), Hotohori (*runs from Nuriko*), Schulderich (not bad... not bad at all...), Tasuki (Tasuki~~~!!!!<3 <3 <3~~), Kero-chan (O.o Ick!!!), Nuriko (*laughs weakly*), Youji (whew...)
Okay, that was it. The results really freaked me out. In truth I don't wanna be paired up with anyone of them. >_<
Keiko babbled deliriously at 02:16 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Paradox - W-inds
Feeling... shocked
Saturday, January 12, 2002
Kauru-chan got "Heero Yuy"????!!!!! That's impossible! They're nothing alike!!! Well, going to see who I "am" now. Well, I know I got Duo Maxwell last time, but this is a different quiz... so...
Gah... I got Heero too... but at least Duo was #2, so I'm happy. LOL My favorite two G-boys!
You are Heero Yuy. You are
considered the Perfect Soldier and pretty much go through with missions as you
are told or instinctly act on. You appear to be stone, but deep down there are
emotions that help drive your actions.
You are Duo
Maxwell. You strive on kicking serious ass, anytime, anywhere. However, you
aren't always out to kill, even though you consider yourself "God of Death
(Shinigami)". You have a kind, warm heart and an open personality, you are
always willing to lend a hand to a friend in need and try something new.
Well! Now I know I resemble Duo more than Heero, even if there are parts of me that is definitely classified as "Heero", but to get Heero over Duo... well, it was a sucky quiz anyway. Actually, all of the GW quizzes at SelectSmart right now are sucky. I can't find the one I took a long time ago that said I was Duo Maxwell. That one was so much more organized and detailed.
Keiko babbled deliriously at 01:52 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: opening theme to \"El-Hazard: The Alternative World\"
Feeling... weary, but not tired... (I need rest!!! But I can't fall asleep!!)
Saturday, January 12, 2002
On Wednesday night, I got absolutely no sleep at all! I stayed up the whole night trying to get to sleep. It must be a side affect from my illness... -_-; Anyway, around 3 o'clock, I got up to eat my "breakfast", hoping that haveing some food in my stomach would help me fall asleep faster, but to no avail. Around 4:30, I gave up and listened to some music. I got through Yami no Matsuei 2nd OST: Amethyst no Hitomi, and Ayashi no Ceres 1st OST: Celestial, and the first three songs of my Utada Hikaru cd (album: Distance) before it was 6:30 and time for me to get out of bed. Funny thing was, I never once yawned or blinked sleepily, during the night or during the morning, though around afternoon I was yawning constantly. I just walked around with my eyes wide open (and probably more than a bit red...). It was harrowing. I got some sleep that night though, lulled by some tapes of Chinese stand-up comedy. It was very easy to tune it out (it's very easy to tune any voices out nowadays), and my mom was rocking me to sleep, so I slept, and then my mom made me get off the sofa and into her bed, which is infinitely more comfortable than mine... I could barely get up this morning because I wanted to sleep more.
I started a great book today called Luck in the Shadows. I would be finishing it right now if I had the money to buy it today. *sighs* I can't wait to see how it turns out. It has two sequels.
Ne, Kauru-chan~, can I borrow your subs of "El-Hazard: The Magnificent World" the next time I see you? I started watching "The Alternative World" today for no reason (the tape you gave me only has the last four eps. on it! >_<) and I need to get the bad taste of Qawoor/Makoto out of my mouth. I really want to see Makoto fallying head over heels for Ifurita again. ^_^
Keiko babbled deliriously at 01:24 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Get Along - Hayashibara Megumi, Slayers op
Feeling... {none}
Thursday, January 10, 2002
Well, I saw this on Maryam's blog, and I figured, hey, why not try it out. Here's my "anthem"
 | My anthem is "For You", by Staind.
The only time I can find comfort is when I'm in my own mind. I know exactly what I want to say, if I could ever have a chance to get it all out. I may look like any other person on the outside, but I'm screaming on the inside...
Find out what YOUR anthem is HERE! |
More...
So yeah, what does this say about me, anyway? I feel your pain. Your pain and anger is locked up inside your head, and you're gonna pop your cork sooner or later if something doesn't change. You may frequently run through past experiences in your mind, rewriting them, and playing them out the way you think they should be. This takes up the majority of your time, so you rarely ever have a moment in real life. Everything you see and experience is copied in your head, and you play it back like a movie, instead of looking at things right in front of you. But do you even have a choice?
The truth is, yes, you do have a choice. You can flit around in your head and shut out the people around you in some catatonic depression, or you can find someone to talk to. Yes, there is always someone out there who will listen to you complain or scream. There is always someone who will be there when you need some comfort. You'll feel a lot better once you get everything off your chest.
Lyrics:
To my mother, to my father,
It's your son or it's your daughter,
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?
I sit locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
This silence gets us nowhwere!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!
The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don't know how to listen
And let me make my decisions
'Cause I sit here locked
inside my head remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere to fast!
All your insults and your curses make
me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like I am nothing but
you made me so do something
'Cause I'm fucked up because you are
Need attention, attention you couldn't give
I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
This silence get us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast
Ok... I really have no comment. But, Maryam's complaining that she's suicidal in her "anthem", and that at least I'm still alive in mine... so... I don't know... it seems so... violent and crazy! Kinda depressing too, but there's a grain of truth in these things... there always is when the questions involve your view of life... sorta...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 12:13 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Ashitawa Atashino Kazega Fuku - Maeda Ai, Digimon
Feeling... cheerful
Thursday, January 10, 2002
I haven't listened to this song in a long time, but it sounds great as ever, especially after all those depressing and sad songs I've been listening to the past couple of days (namely "Dearest" and "Endless Sorrow" by Hamasaki Ayumi -_-;;). I tried listening to "Unite" by Ayu, but even though it was a hip and very upbeat song, it still sounded sad to me. I think I dled the live version of it, so at the end when Ayu's voice fades away, the crowd starts cheering madly, but still, to me, it felt as if something dies with the last of the vocals. *laughs* I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's really how I feel every time I listen to "Unite". Of course, "A Song Is Born" by Ayu * Keiko (not me!) doesn't help at all either, especially with the half-wailing, half-crying quality of Keiko's voice, whoever she may be. I finally had to delete those two songs from my Winamp playlist before I could dissolve into tears (tears of sadness for "Unite" and tears of pain for "A Song Is Born" *shudders* god! I hate that song so much now!). I kept "Dearest" on though; I like the piano solo at the beginning way too much.
Oh look! My cat's trying to stuff her hind paws into her ears! How cute! ...... Oh... I guess I'd better turn down the volume on the computer... ^_^;
Keiko babbled deliriously at 11:56 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Dearest - Hamasaki Ayumi
Feeling... emotional, almost in tears
Wednesday, January 2, 2002
I'm working on my memoirs as an English class assignment right now. It's making me feel very emotional. I just finished talking about my grandfather, who was the most important person in the world to me. I'm now talking about my favorite cousin, which also makes me want to cry, because all these memories from when I was a child are resurfacing, and all those memories are of him being very mean and cruel to me. Why's he still my favorite cousin? Because I had a blind faith in him as a child. I just finished talking about how different he was when I went home to China to visit a couple of years ago, and all I can say is that my faith paid off. He was and still is my favorite cousin.
I think that the song "Dearest" is very appropriate for this moment...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 11:16 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Dearest - Hamasaki Ayumi
Feeling... tired
Tuesday, January 1, 2002
*sparkles* "Dearest" is such a pretty song~~! I'm glad I dled it. Now I can listen to it over and over again, just like "Paradox".
Haha, through all the fuss with my being sick, I forgot to mention New Year... Well, Maryam and her mom came over to hang, and it was pretty fun, cos we watched some tv and...and... ok, I think we just watched some tv... But it was fun cos we watched Crossing Jordan, which was a tv show I'd never seen before. It was kinda cool. Maryam brought me a Xmas present: a candle in a candle holder. Okay, so it doesn't sound like much, but it was special to me because the candle holder had the carvings of a butterfly on each of the four sides. It immediately reminded me of the quote "I dreamed that I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?" from Chuang Tsu. I really like that quote. It should go under the Quotes section on this page. I've already lit it quite a few times. The flame's really pretty too. Anyway, Sherry and Steven dropped by later too, cos we'd asked them earlier. We celebrated New Year together, the six of us, and we had a lot of fun talking. Maryam n her mom had brought over a bottle of champagne, so Steven popped it on the stroke of midnight and everyone had a glass (or more). It was around 2 o'clock when everyone finally left and I went to bed. I think it was the best New Year I've ever had in the States. I miss the family gatherings we have in China, though. I coulda been there... shit... oh well. I didn't wake up until 3 o'clock this morning. Well, I'd woken a few times, but I didn't feel like getting up, so I just hugged Hiroshi closer to me and went back to sleep. Speaking of sleep... I should probably go about now. My mom's nagging at me anyways.
Oh I forgot to say: my mom cut my hair off at the shoulders when I was in the hospital. It's kinda bouncy now, but I figure soon it'll go back to being straight as a stick, especially as it grows longer. I want it shorter though, so when I go to the hair saloon to get it fixed (my mom didn't cut it completely straight), I'll ask them to cut it shorter. I want this hair style that I really like, but I don't know the name of it. =P Ok, bed.
Keiko babbled deliriously at 11:40 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: some classical music on tv
Feeling... a little dizzy... @_@
Tuesday, January 1, 2002
Sick & Miserable: A Chirstmas Story
Part II
After 3(?) days, I finally decided to continue my story. Where was I? The part where I finally got a room? Ok, here goes...
I was finally in bed on the fifth floor, about to fall asleep, when some resident doctors came in to ask me about my illness. I told them everything I could remember (apparently they wanted a full history...). Then they told me that from the tests they did (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that before the spinal tap, they did a CT scan and an X-ray on me), it looked like I had shingles (what you can get from the same virus after you've had chicken pox) and viral meningitis. It was just wonderful news to fall asleep to. So! Friday morning! I woke up very freshed, since it was the first night I was able to sleep well as well as having fluids in me (at last!). A doctor came in to see me, who was an associate of my pediatrician, and it just so happened that she was good friends with my mom's boss. The coincidence was so great that I started laughing (the first time in many days) and woke up my mom, who was amazed at how well I was looking. Soon, some resident infection-disease specialists came to see me about my so-called "middle-ear infection", which turned out really to be shingles on the outside of my ear. They were really nice and explained everything really clearly so that me n my mum could understand. My mom kept on asking questions though. She was really worried. The doctors took some samples from my ear (don't ask, just don't ask...) and went to see if it was the virus they suspected it was. My mom was looking realy haggard, so I made her go home and nap. I called Maryam and told her that I was in the hospital (had a hard time talking though, my throat felt really constricted). She said that she'd visit me as soon as her mom can drive her. Sherry called early morning too, but I was asleep, so she left a message. Anyway, I spent the day rather bored, but feeling more perky, though still sick as hell. Around late afternoon, I started feeling really dizzy again, and lay on my bed trying my damn hardest to breathe. Around 7 o'clock, Sherry and Steven surprised me with a visit and it made me feel really good. We talked for a while until Maryam came too, and then they said that they had to leave. Right after they left, my mom came back. Maryam brought flowers for me. ^_^ My mom rented the movie Toy Story 2 like I asked her to (cos I was in a Children's Hospital and I felt like I should act the part XD) and we started to watch that (before that, the other occupant of the room was watching "Pricilla, Queen of the Desert"). Halfway through, Maryam n her mom left (;_;), and I finished watching the video, even though I was really tired. Talking w/ my visitors made me so tired I was literally gasping for breath every time I finished saying something. The nurses told me that because I had shingles, they were going to move me into isolation in the ICU on the 3rd floor. Well, they moved me there, and I got hooked up to moniters again, but because I overexerted myself, I had a really horrible night. The nurse attending me (I think her name was Melissa) told me my oxygen level wasnt' high enough, so I had to have this thing in my nose to make sure I get enough oxygen during the night. The night itself was more horrible than usual, because I was in a lot of pain, AND I had a stupid thing making my nose uncomfortable. I woke up many times during the night, and each time, the nurse was by my side, fiddling with the IV machine and the moniter and soothing me and saying stuff like "Shh, you're doing fine." It all felt like a nightmare. Speaking of nightmares, I had one just two nights ago... er... I digress. Anyway, I woke up the next morning feeling bad again. That was kinda how I spent the days in the ICU, feeling nauseas and hurting and uncomfortable. The pain meds that they gave me sometimes wouldn't work, so after a few days they gave me some morphine. Yes, morphine. It made me very sleepy and dizzy during the day. Kinda gives you a rush when they first inject it, and then things get a little woozy and then you don't really care what happens anymore. I prefer to hold someone's hand during that time so I can stay in reality. Usually my mom rubbed my hand for me. It was kinda nice not to care, but I think I prefer myself to be clear-headed. Tylenol w/codine (painkiller) made me sleepy too, so I usually took it right before bedtime. There isn't much to say about my days in ICU, cos all I did was sleep, throw up (or at least try to, since I had nothing in my tummy), crying, and more sleeping. On Christmas, one of my nurses (Lynette who was really nice) brought me a present: Lord of the Rings the first book. We'd talked the previous day and mentioned the movie. She learned that I wanted to see the movie and read the books, so she went out and bought it for me. Wasn't that nice of her? ^_^ I was so surprised. I didn't think people cared THAT much. Santa Claus also visited on Xmas morning. I got some presents that were meant for younger children and a huge teddy bear that I immediately loved. I named him Hiroshi. I think Hiroshi is a nice name, even though I've never liked any of the anime characters that had that name. But it was the first name to pop up in my head and when I tried to dismiss it, none of the other names I thought of wouldn't fit. So I named him Hiroshi. It really fits, I think, for no particular reason. I really found comfort in Hiroshi. I think I really reverted back to being a kid, cos I hugged Hiroshi when I slept. Hiroshi's really soft. ^.^
Well, one or two days after Xmas, I suddenly stopped being nauseas and felt a lot better, not clear-headed and perky yet, but just not as sick as I was. On the Thursday after Xmas, they decided my ear was better and not contagious anymore. They moved me back up to the fifth floor, but into a single room this time, so I had more privacy. Actually, it was a negative-pressure room, so I was still basically in isolation. I think they really just needed that room in the ICU, because my mom said that when she went back down to get some stuff, the room already had an occupant. Being up in the fifth floor was kinda boring, because my mom spent less time with me and I didn't have anything to do. I was only in there for two days though, because the occupational and physical therapists wanted me to walk and eat again, so that I can leave the hospital sooner. I got out on Saturday afternoon. It was great to be home. The clean smell and the quiet feeling in my room was great. I'm a bibiophile, so the books add to the quiet feeling. *almost dances in memory* It was so wonderful to be home and be under my heavy covers in bed. The hospital had skimpy blankets that weren't that warm, so it was nice to come home to really thick cotton covers and furry blankets. ^-^ My cat was kinda weary of me at first, probably cos I smelled different, but after a few hours, she was pretty much back to normal. It was kinda hard to walk at first, because I hadn't walked by myself for two weeks, and I kept losing my balance (I could just stand there and start falling in one direction). My mom got quite a few scares whenever my knees gave out under me and I started to fall. I stayed mostly in bed and read the Chinese version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. ^o^ My mom got that for me at Ranch 99. I didn't get very far though. It's hard to read complicated Chinese, especially when it's from up to down, instead of from left to right.
Through all my time in the hospital, Ka-chan called me almost everyday. It was great to talk to someone, because it got very lonely in there by myself. Arigato gozaimasu Ka-chan! *glomps* I hope I can see you soon, ne? Here I want to thank everyone who gave me flowers and visited me, including the people from my mom's church, who I don't know and who prayed for my well being during my time of illness. Very nice of you, thank you. As for the virus that landed me in the hospital in the first place... *glows an angry red* Shi ne!!!! *falls over* Gah... don't have enough energy for a proper battle aura... Oh well, the anti-viral medicine will take care of the residues. Ok, I'm tired and sick of writing about this now. Ja ne, people, going to DL some Ayu and Utada Hikaru songs now. I heard that "Dearest" by Hamasaki Ayumi is supposed to be good...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 09:58 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: {none}
Feeling... {none}
Monday, December 31, 2001
Is it just me, or does Phibrizo look an awful lot like Amelia?...... Yuck, I just saw a fic that was a Phibrizo/Amelia! Not good for right after having that thought about the two looking alike... Wait, I thought Pribrizo was a boy, I mean, sure he's the Hellmaster n all, but he's still just a boy... you know, like a... seven-year-old sized boy... *shudders delicately*
Keiko babbled deliriously at 04:15 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: some random song by L'Arc~en~Ciel that I can't remember the title to.
Feeling... dizzy
Monday, December 31, 2001
*twitches* I need Lina/Zel fics... After reading almost all the fics at Sakura's Lina and Zelgadis Shrine as well as most of the fics at The Guild of Tales, I'm not sure I can find any more good Lina/Zel fics... Need more... Oh yeah, another good Lina and Zel shrine w/ good fics is mysticdragon3's Zel-Lina Shrine. I really liked the Tenchi crossover fic from that one. Too bad it wasn't finished. Maybe I'll go snoop around at Anipike Turnpike. They always have some good links to something.
Keiko babbled deliriously at 04:00 p.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: {none}
Feeling... dazed
Sunday, December 30, 2001
Oh shit, that was one long entry... okay, going nightie-night now.
Keiko babbled deliriously at 12:10 a.m.
"Don't worry, I only hit you with the flat of this sword. Oh, I forgot... this is a doulbe-edged sword..." - Zelgadis, Slayers Next
Playlist: Paradox - W-inds
Feeling... wooozzy
Saturday, December 29, 2001
Ahhh, the beautiful sound of Keita's clear voice, penetrating the drugged fog in my head... Yeah, doped up on Valtrex and Tynenol w/codine about an hour ago. My mom made sure I took my medicine before she left to do laundry. I didn't want to take the sleeping pill just yet, cos I didn't really want to sleep. Anyways, just got out of the hospital today, and am bored to hell. Let's update, shall we?
On Friday the...*checks date* 14th, I came home from a violin lesson (walked, took bus, and walked again. so tiring) and was the poor receipient of a gigantic headache and earache. I figured, hey, I have low pain tolerance, but plenty of practice in resistence, so I ignored my headache and earache, and did my usual Friday evening stuff. Next morning, I woke up feeling slighly better, despite having stayed up really late talking to Vinita online (all the while sporting that headache). Went to the Christmas party at neighbor's house, stayed awfully late, headache got worse... Next morning, woke up still with that godawful headache, but the earache wasn't so noticeable. I had to drag myself to a chamber music rehearsal at Ben's house, where I realized that everytime I put my violin up to my throat, it hurted. So, then I knew that I was sick. I dragged myself home after rehearsal and then out again cos I promised to go shopping with someone... I'd rather not mention who, and I'm sure they don't want it to be known either. Anyway, I decided to get my mom her Christmas present then, and boy am I glad I did, cos I didn't get to leave home after that. I came home, put some water on the stove, and fell onto the couch, which was where my mom found me 10 minutes later, dizzy and in pain. She figured I was sick, and made me take medicine, and all that, but everything just got worse. I tried to get up around early evening to study for an essay exam, but after about 20 minutes of staring at the text book, I concluded that I was too sick to be doing anything and that I should probably rest (oh what a bright conclusion that was). Being as sickly and dizzy as I was, I went to my mommy and complained of how sick I was. Mommy took my temperature, and said I had a low fever (acutally, it wasn't high enough to fully describe how horrible I was feeling, so I held it over the heater to heighten it by a couple of degrees). She made me take some more medicine (none of which worked, btw) and made me go to bed. My mom's friend Kuniko dropped by and said that I might have a sinus infection, while would explain the earache. She got some Sudafed for me to take. I took it, but it didn't seem to help. Things are a little blurry after that, but I think my mom came into my room in the late evening with some food and instead of eating it like a good girl, I decided to throw up. It was horrible, since there was nothing but water in my stomach to throw up. That was when my mom decided to call my doctor, and scheduled an appointment for the next day. No school, no test. But it wasn't so fun. I couldn't eat, and I could barely pull myself together. My throat hurted like hell and my ear wasn't so much better. Of course, having a splitting headache in the middle of all just made it worse. I almost wished I was in Mr. Teel's classroom failing that exam like everyone else. Almost.
My doctor said that I might have strep throat and an ear infection, so she prescribed Motrin IB for the pain and Amoxicillin (anti-bacteria medicine) for the ear infection. Right after I took it in the doctor's office, I threw it back up. Oh joy was me. Throwing up twice in 24 hours. Never happened before. My mom took me to the Alta Bates Hospital Cafeteria cos my doctor said it'd be nice for me to get some food down with medicine. I took the medicine again, and managed to keep it down. We went home and I just kinda collapsed on the bed. I think by then I was short of breath and was in a lot of pain. I don't think the Motrin ever helped during all the times I was taking it. On Monday evening, I was feeling a little better, not so nauseated anymore, even though I still had a sore throat. Maryam came over cos she forgot her keys, but I was still stuck in bed and a little bleary-eyed. That night, I decided that I was not going to get well by the next day, so I had to call Gene to tell him that I couldn't do a performance the next day (the whole reason for the rehearsal on Sunday). It was supposed to be a lunchtime gig that paid $50, and I was really sorry I missed the opportunity, but I wasn't sure I could sit up straight w/o falling over, let alone hold a violin. That night, everything got worse, and I remember leaning against my mom in bed, gasping for breath. My ear went on hurting and my skull felt as it it were immersed in a sea of pain. My mom called the doctor again, but this time I saw some of the other doctors in my doctor's office. My dad came over and drove us there. But first we had to go to Quest Diagostic or something like that to get my blood drawn to test for mononucleosis. Then, we went to see the doctors. They took my blood pressure (I presume that even then it was already high), my temperature, and looked at the symptoms. They looked kinda worried, because they couldn't match the symptoms with what they thought I had. The throat culture my doctor took on Monday tested negative for strep throat, and the other doctors couldn't figure what I had. Finally, they decided to sent me across the street to the Alta Bates Hospital ER. A nurse wheeled me over (I was too weak by then to walk, not to mention dizzy from all those times I bumped my head getting in and out of the car), and I waited in the wheelchair for someone to see to me. Stupid ER deemed me not important enough, so I had to wait quite a while. Finally, they admitted me to one of the ER rooms and a doctor came by to take a look. They said that they couldn't do anything for me until the blood test results came back. So I laid there on a bed, half asleep and in pain, and waited. Alone. My mom had to go to a doctor's appointment herself and my dad had to leave to. So I laid there in semi-darkness, while the doctors and nurses ignored me. After a while, they gave me a painkiller and ignored me again. I was there for a couple of hours, until about six, when my mom came back and the doctors said that the blood test results came and everything was normal. No mono, no strep throat. So what did I have? No one knew, and none of the doctors in the ER really cared, so my poor bedraggled mother drove me home and I dropped half-dead on the bed again. The night was really bad again, and I remember my neighbor Sherry and Steven coming over to see how I was doing. I think I started crying cos everything hurted so much and I couldn't seem to get enough air. I know my mom bought me flowers, though. "A white chrysanthemum for Christmas, and a red rose for love", she said to a half-delirious me. I think Sherry and Steven brought me flowers too, roses included. Anyway, I passed the night again half-sleeping, half-tossing in pain. I'm not sure how I passed Wednesday, dazed and eyes glazed over, I'm sure. None of the pain medicine worked, and the amoxicillin, which was supposed kill bacteria in my ear infection, didn't seem to be working either. On Thursday, my mom drove me over to Orinda to see my doctor again (she has another office there). I threw up just as we were getting out of the car. I'd been throwing up on a regular basis ever since I got sick, so my mom had a small basin handy. It was raining really hard and the weather was cold and windy. I could barely lift my head up, and my doctor said since I hadn't been able to keep anything down, I might need an IV to get fluids into me. She said that things looked so bad that I might have to be brought to the Children's Hosipital in an ambulance. Which was what happened. I don't think the ambulance people belived I was that sick, since outward symptoms didn't indicate anything very serious. Once in the ER in the Children's Hospital, I was immediately surrounded by at least five doctors and nurses. I don't recall it, but they stuck an IV in my left hand (not my violin hand!) and took some blood again for testing. I'm not sure what they did for me in there, since I was really delirious and dazed. But after a while I was able to doze off relatively peacefully. They must have given me a stronger painkiller than motrin. This was in the afternoon. After a while, they moved me into a small temporary room on the same floor because they needed the room I was in. I kinda lay there for a while, with my mom watching over me. They said that they were preparing a room for me so I had to wait a bit, but first they were going to do a spinal tap on me. I wasn't sure what a spinal tap was, but it didn't sound good, so I was kinda nervous. Talk about nervous, my mom was teetering on the edge of exhaustion. I made her go home for a while, about two hours, when they were supposed to do the spinal tap on me. However, I think they forgot about me because I waited the two hours and not a single nurse came by to check on me. I finally got someone's attention by crawling out of the bed I was in and shouting weakly for someone to help me. They remembered the spinal tap and two doctors/nurses came into my room to do it. One doctor held me down (that was my first hint that it was going to be painful. My second hint was when they started talking about how big a needle they need to use) in a fetal position, while the other doctor stuck a needle into my back, right below my spine and poked around for a while, looking for the right spot. My skin crawls with memory of the spinal tap. Don't really want to think about it. Makes me ill. Anyway, suffice to say that a third doctor was dragged in before they found "the spot" and withdrew spinal fluid for testing. Just as they finished, my mom came back ("You have great timing," the doctor said) and she kept my company while they went to see about my room. Another hour later, about 9-10 o'clock on Thursday the 20th, the day I was supposed to be getting on a flight back to China for a two week vacation, I was moved (bed and all) up to the fifth floor of the Children's Hospital, where they said that they'd been waiting for me for quite a while. I was settled in, and connected to a moniter that beeped annoyingly everything I stopped breathing for 2 seconds. I didn't feel too good at first, and still gasped for breath, but after a while, I was able to go to sleep, probably due to the fluids and painkillers going into me through the IV in my left hand. I think that somewhere along all of the his a doctor mentioned something about the nights being the worst because I didn't have enough fluids in me.
Okay, I'm really dizzy now. I can hardly keep my head up. It's kinda rolling around on my shoulders right now. This tells me I should stop typing, take my sleeping pill, and sleep like there's no tomorrow. I didn't think I'd be able to tell everything in one sitting anyway.
To be continued...
Keiko babbled deliriously at 10:45 p.m.
